Monday, January 12, 2009

Dear Tina,

I don't understand why everyone on the shows I watch has to be pregnant?

Dude, seriously?

I tried to explain to Scott that at my age the closest thing I feel to peer pressure is the wanting to have kids. I KNOW that I am not ready to be responsible for another human being in my heart of hearts, but I really feel the pressure of my hormones and just the peer pressure. I DO NOT understand how people fight this pressure! This is where we really have the difference in our ages. I envy you your youth and your time to make this decision.

And I'm old enough to know that this will change our friendship. I don't want that. I want things to always feel the same between us, but this pressure... You don't know. When I am free to think about it, it's all that I think about. In the weirdest, oddest times..... I kind of think that our spring fling is going to be when I coincide... Well.

I'm just ready... And the thing is that is that it's totally the wrong time in my life and maybe it will be the biggest heartbreak in my life... But, Tina -- it's like falling in love. This feeling of knowing that I want a family and knowing that I am capable of being part of creating life. It's just incredible.

But, I think I'm just hormonal and drunk.

Who knows?

love you!

Heather

1 comment:

Dead or Skinny said...

If it helps any Heather, Lou and I weren't ready at 23, but we did anyway and its made all the difference. It forced us both to mature. I guess what I'm trying to say is we are never ready in life to have kids, but we take the leap and do the best we can.