Sunday, August 31, 2008

Reliving the songs of my youth...

Heather says:

Tina has been trying to hook us up with a play list for our site. It's supposed to be made up from a cd that I made her -- that she LOST -- of songs I think "she should know." Well, I'm really not a music afficianado. I just have the songs from my youth, mostly... Some of those, I don't think I would have have said she should KNOW, but as I try to recreate mixed tapes of my youth, here are some songs and what not that were staples. Julia is a regular reader and I guarantee she will help with a comment or two of either songs that I forced her to listen to OR songs that she mixed taped me that I remembered liking. After all, she is how I even knew who the Beautiful South were and really Sail this Ship Alone and Love Song to Nobody don't even compare to each other, much less to 36B.

And while I could never regularly listen to the songs of my younger years that I found "important" because they are so fucking depressing, these are still some of my favorite songs of all time. From then until I can last remember paying attention to music before just listening to NPR, in no particular order to be edited from time to time...

Troy Sinead O'Connor... I'll remember it Dublin in a rainstorm
... But also Just like you said it would B, I want your (hands on me), I am Stretched on your grave (note: I will never forget the beat of that song once I hear the title... ), and again... Most of the album I Do Not Want what I haven't got is primo stuff -- just cuts a hole in your gut thinkign about the teen angst that it riles up
How Beautiful You Are the Cure ... actually lots of Cure songs, but mostly more obscure ones like Love Cats, Why Can't I Be You?, Closer (the riff will ALWAYS make me think of that Sam Montage video), 10:15 on a Saturday night (drip, drip, drip...)

White Rabbit Jefferson Airplane

Vincent Don McClean... you know him because of american pie, but Vincent is the reason that Katrina and I are friends

book of Love don't know who but true cheese and just fabulous
Sea of Love.. the Robert Plant version, not the Honey Drippers
so many Smiths songs... some of my favorites are Stop Me if You think you've heard this one before, last night I dreamt that somebody loved me, unhappy birthday, paint a vulgar picture (which is very long, but you forgive it because they use words like sycophantic and who talks that??); "panic" has other lines often quotes, as well as sheila take a bow... actually, now that I look at the playlist from louder than bombs I love every single one in its own way

lots of enya songs... I used to be a HUGE fan... but only of the Watermark album I could just never get into the rest Evening Falls was frequently included on mix tapes as a segue as well as On Your Shore. ESPECIALLY, if i had a crush on you. ::: swooning::: THAT song is like the James Garner/whatsherface part of The Notebook what it does to me. Has always made me believe in forever

Indigo Girls... especially their version of Romeo & Juliet and then the song they're most known for Galileo but the song they are most known for on my road trips is Moment of Forgiveness

Another Katrina song and I am too tired/drunk to remember the title/artist but the gist of the title is that "it feels so good, feeling good again" -- that song has gotten me through a lot of hard times

In fact, on the mixed cd she copied for me the other song following it is "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins and that helps too

Also, don't know the artist but Build Me Up, Buttercup or whatever that is called -- no matter how bad a mood I am in, I can usually get out of it with that song

Also, Journey, Don't Stop Believing
ABBA Dancing Queen, Money, Money, Money, Fernando, Thank You for the Music, Does Your Mother Know?
Bee Gees Staying Alive, How Deep is your love?

If I can't have you off of the Saturday Night Fever album

Pink - Just Like a Pill, Get this Party Started, Family Portrait

Billy Joel... Oy, where to start? Downeaster Alexis, Innocent Man, We didn't start the fire, And so it goes...

No Doubt... Bathwater, Ex-Girlfriend, Spiderwebs, Just a Girl

the song from our wedding Forever... "not talking about a year, no not three or four...."

Van Morrison... Moon Dance, of course, but OUR song is Someone Like You

Anyways. Tina OUR song is always going to be Since You've Been Gone... Ironic, but there you go.

Until I'm sober and interested enough to add more...

Tina says: This is what I am doing until I am BORED enough to do more! LOL


Thursday, August 28, 2008

So where is this great post about Karen?

Heather says:

Here's part of it. Monday night they came over and we were having some wine. And they got into over something. Something about cooking.

Steve drunkenly said that maybe she should take of dinner for the rest of the week if she felt that way. (Whatever that way was, fuzzy memory -- surprise!) And she got very offended and she said I don't like it when you talk to me like that and that's very upsetting. And he said well, I'm just saying that maybe you should take care of it. And she got very huffy and said (and I wrote this part down so I would be sure to remember it) -- don't threaten me with having to cook! I'll show you, I just won't eat!

And the thing is... I think she would do it.

I'm sure it was funnier at the time but just to hear the words "don't threaten me" associated with cooking dinner. I almost peed my pants. I mean, I don't feel threatened when I have to make dinner -- I know the phone number to Papa John's! :)

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Dieting Dilemnas

Tina says:

So as you know, ten year reunion is in November. This has got me seriously thinking about dieting. I feel heavier than usual and I have been carrying consistently an extra 5-7 lbs. since I gained back the weight I lost when I was on the daily migraine stuff and couldnt eat anything.

This is my problem. As soon I think about seriously dieting/exercising, whatever, I hear Ryan in my head asking me what the hell I care what those people think. Which, yes, this is a good point, and generally, I'm not vain but something about those people and high school makes me want to look good.

I didnt have any high school trauma, I dont have anything to prove mind you, I just want to look good.

So here is my problem. Not only does my husband, whom I love and adore and have no doubts about the verity and surety of his returning my feelings, not think I should care what those people think, he doesnt care what I look like. He married me for my mind and for who I am and who we are to each other and yada yada and sure he doesnt want me to get fat, but make up, no make up, skirt, heels, sweats makes no difference. And that bothers me. REALLY BOTHERS ME.

My question is should it? I mean gift horse right? In a way its safe knowing that he looks at pretty girls and thinks, "yeah but shes probably a moron" and thus doesnt really look look because he's not really interested.

But when weve sat around for three says in our pajamas and I finally get dressed and do my hair and my face and smell good and walk through the room looking for the TADA! and its not there, I cant help but feel like my horse has at hitch in its giddy-up.

Heather says:

You enjoy being a girl, as the song goes. I realize that you have this thing where Ryan is the center of the universe, walks on water, yadda yadda yadda... BUT, you are your own person. You were your own person before you met him. And at the end of the day, YOU like dressing up and not carrying around an extra 5-7 pounds. So, don't do it for him -- do it for you. You be the voice in your head.

And I'm not intending this as any slam against Ryan, so don't misunderstand. It's just that you have to have something for you. Great, he admires you for your brain -- but part of that brain is pre-occupied with shoes and how your hair would look cute if it were a certain way. We are girlie girls. And maybe he doesn't care about that stuff, but there was definitely a certain once upon a time when there a certain girl in a certain pair of boots that really had him going. So, whatever -- he doesn't care now, but it's in there.

You want to look good. And you know you can. Maybe you don't have anything to prove to anyone -- maybe it's just to yourself.

And why don't you ask him to make comments when you finally get out of your pajamas after (ew) 3 days?
Enter Tina who counters: Not the same P.J.s Ive showered in between!
You know he's not going to make the comments voluntarily, but if you have the "honey, it's really important to me when you..." And then reinforce that, you will get what you want. He loves you, he wants to make you happy. And you're definitely low-maintenance (I'm comparing to myself) -- I mean, it's not an ever moving target it's just "Must remember to tell wife she looks purty today."


BTW, I don't think that chocolate cake is a good step on your plan... :)

Tina says: Oh but I havent started yet!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Tina -- I really hate this lay-out. Can you find something more us? I'll work on it <--- what do you think about this? We can change font colors but the red... ask you can see if you scroll down is terrible so I had to change it at least where it could be seen.

I'm still marinating about your geese...

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Facebook

So, the other day Julia asked me why Scott joined Facebook. As usual, his response was just to piss Heather off.

Here's the thing that bothered me though about the mini-conversation that evolved from this. He says that it's about people who haven't seen or talked to or cared about one another in however many years and yet now we're suddenly interested in each other's lives.

Well, I think that's just mean-spirited but also incorrect. I think that for people who are a little older, Facebook is the opportunity to re-connect with people that you lost contact with. Not because you stopped caring about the person all together, but your life and their life went on different paths.

They went to college and I threw my life down the toilet by tying myself to ding dong. It was what it was. Maybe if I had gone to college, I would have stayed in touch and had a grown-up job like they do and we would have had things in common. But, now we don't have things in common but yet...

I don't know. I get excited when I hear from people from back in the day. No, they haven't been burning through their black books trying to find me either, but neither have I. I still want to know what happened to them and how they are doing and what their lives are like now. It's cool. Are we going to become friends again? Probably not, but more than we were before we had Facebook. Is FB a silly, glittery thing with flair and electronic drinks and stalking techniques -- heck yeah. But let's not undermine the reconnections by saying that it's about people previously not caring and now suddenly they do. That's just not right.

So I have thought about what you have said and they conclusions I have come to are these:

People on facebook for me atleast fall into one of the following categories:

Friends or people I still talk to

People who I used to hang out with and because of this past connection we have agreed to be
mutual current voyeurs. These are people whom if I ran into them at Target I might stop and talk to for 10 minutes or so... perhaps even go get coffee. If they wanted to be more than friends, I might try to get more involved.

People who I wish I had been closer with. Its a way of not letting go.

People who I dont really like or have any vested interest in, but seeing things going on in their lives and occasionally commenting or having sparring conversations keeps you connected. The world is small. If you ever, move to where they are, need a new job, you might need to know someone... This is generally termed networking. Laura never loses touch of anyone. I admire that about her. She has this vast network of "friends" who actually know very little about her but because she keeps in touch and lets them tell her about themselves she is well connected. Its very smart. Its self serving perhaps, but smart none the less.


Saturday, August 9, 2008

Diads, Triads, and... Quad-ads oh my!

So, we're planning a girl's weekend. And I really figured out my "issue" with Jen and wanted to share with you. I never knew there was an issue. But now that you mention it, I'm not really surprised.

Over our blog on the internet. SUPER private! Do you think that she reads this? Does she know you have an issue? By blogging about it arent you kinda hoping that she or one of the others finds out and confronts you and you have to yell, cry, kiss and make up about it?

Well, I don't think they know about this. They never even read my OTHER blog which they would have to know in order to know about this one. Besides, they know -- it's been said.

It's like this... In social groups, there are diads and triads and I found out that anything larger than 3 is just called a group. In the triad that is my relationship with Holly and Katrina, I am the connecting friend. I'm Carrie. Holly and Katrina are friends but through me. Whereas in any of the interactions that involve Jennifer, I'm on the outskirts. <--- Hello how do I feel when Holly and Katrina are both around! My narcissism can't really handle this. Lucky for me none of my friends really like each other all that much.

(Narcissism -- another great blog topic. I'm really getting concerned that I have this. Not in a kidding "it's all about me" way but in a -- I really think it's all about me!) <---- Is anyone not? Well that descends into needing to separate narcissism and selfishness... Coming Soon perhaps?

So, it's a hard adjustment. Jennifer really ignites my insecurities in a way that no one else ever has. I always feel like she's more fun, (but not as whistical) more intelligent (but not as witty) (that whole Ph.D. thing doesn't help) and then there's the skinny thing. (she lacks your great ASSets) The other girls have always been thin and when the three of them get together there is a fashion show aspect that I can never participate in. Left out.

I don't know. I like Jennifer in diad situations, but when the others come in I get so mired in feeling left out that I have a hard time just relaxing. Unless there's too much drinking and that's just bad too.

It's not something can be fixed over night. I just had this epiphany that it's about the number of people in the group. I am comfortable with diads and triads, but the way the quad-ads can splinter off makes me dislike them. Too much room for coupling off. But every time I propose any kind of girl time, they always want to include Jennifer and I feel bad for not suggesting it in the first place and just want to get over myself and fix this issue. But, it makes me feel like such a bitch for having a need to have just women with minimal kids and husbands. Especially since I am now the only one left who can still easily be in that scenario.

Thoughts?

Umm... I could help you bury the body. I like this, but I DO like her, so no need.

Seriously though, its a legit issue. Who wants to have someone around who makes you feel insecure. And its worse because shes a great person and you really like her.

You have a couple of options:

Tell H & K why you dont always include her. It may make you a bitch, but you might really just be admitting it, not being less of. They know you and love you, they may understand and not even be offended. Tell them that they leave you out.

Tell Jenn how you feel. Sometimes humbling yourself to another person who you envy has a very therapeutic/cathartic effect. She will be honored that you made yourself vulnerable, and be sensitive to your plight.

Make a habit of excusing yourself when they do things that make you insecure. Go read or call Julia or me or someone else who will let you bitch about it until you feel better.

Learn to accept the dynamic as it is. Face the pain, master the pain, decide to conquer it.
The thing that drives me the most nuts about hanging out with the crew that I used to hang out with in high school is that once it reaches a certain point, the planned activity is over or certain members join, I dont get to steer. Not just that, but avoiding the rocks is not even something that can be considered. So ... I jump ship. As often as I am bored or uncomfortable. It makes me unpopular, but I have have learned that I either live with the fact that I can hang with them and do what they want or I can not and do what I want.

Hide and suck your thumb.
I like this option! Seriously, though... This has been talked about. But then, time goes by and we don't have a quartet situation and I don't have to think about it. And it just gets more awkward as time goes by because of the childless whore aspect. But, that is the choice I have made and can't change it and I need to stop feeling like I have to apologize for it, huh?<---- Is that really the issue? That you are no propigating the species and therefore not an active member of society? Are you sure its not in your head? If its not, f*ck her.

Anyone else have any suggestions?




Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Follow Your Own F'ing Rules

Tiiiiina, you're supposed to be posting in green or something. Black is confusing to me. WHEN DID I NOT POST IN GREEN? Oh you want THIS GREEN instead. I can do that. I just liked the darker one better.

Well, unless the person who originally sets the post posts in regular and the other add-on is your color but then how will the uniformed know?

I don't know. We didn't really work out the rules. Should we do it now in a public format??

First, I like the idea of using italics for whining.

Second, specifically for Sara -- the race card tinted slant of my comment to your comment was really a dig at Tina at your expense. All of her white sheets also have hoods on them, it's weird.

Third, I'm eating popcorn which I now think of you eating as a breakfast choice whenever I eat. I need to end that. What are my options?

Fourth, I may need to periodically reprofess my abundant devotion to Jon Stewart and say that I think he is on my celebrity list above Tom Welling even.

But those weren't rules.

I'm just posting because I don't want to go to my f'ing paper.

Feedback

A comment. We got a comment. You like us. You really like us!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Relative Oppression

So now that we have started this blog, the pressure to perform is immense. And I have performance anxiety. Me too, and I've been so busy procrastinating on school stuff that it's taking up my whole life...
However the wedding this weekend I feel provided excellent commentary fodder.

Pantyhose: Is it still necessary to wear them to an evening wedding?
I didn't know that it was still necessary to wear pantyhose. I am really put out by the fact that they still exist, to be honest. I mean, how are people ever going to realize that cellulite is a fact of life if we keep putting it back in the casing...?
I was under the impression that if it was an informal wedding in the summer it was okay to forgo them. This was cross referenced by my own moral compass when I put my thumb through mine fifteen minutes before it was time to leave for my cousin's wedding Saturday. My mother I think, didnt think so. Of course, all the girls my age or younger werent wearing hose. But shame on me for checking etiquette by those of my generation or younger.
You know, its just a shame that people dont even pay attention anymore. I know that since the hippies and the feminists etiquette has been the way of the oppressed, but I really feel like if we followed the spirit of etiquette, which is behave in such a manner as to make a all people feel the most comfortable at all times, then this one girl wouldnt have showed up in a skin tight electric blue dress clearly looking hotter than the blushing but ample bride.


But, how did it turn out besides the chick in the electric blue dress? WERE people your age wearing hose? I dont remember seeing anyone else my age. My cousin, closest to my age, was wearing a suit. What about my age, etc? Actually come to think of it, everyone older than me, with the exception of my mother, was wearing pant suits. What is the hose cut off??
Further, I don't think it's right to equate wearing hose with etiquette. I mean, your statement is that the "spirit of etiquette, which is behave in such a manner as to make a all people feel the most comfortable at all times." How does that relate to wearing pantyhose? You're going to be uncomfortable (I really dont think self comfort is actually supposed to be considered. Its actually kinda antithetical to the whole idea) at the expense of everyone being uncomfortable by your white legs? I mean, why are they uncomfortable about your legs? Im sure the whiteness of your legs is actually not what pantyhose is about, its about propriety. Besides, if you are embracing YOUR idea of etiquette, then you are wearing an appropriate length dress and then it won't much matter. And thats what I am saying, since it is not longer social code that only loose women dont wear hose, then it shouldnt matter that I dont wear hose because bare legs dont scream look at me, like a too short dress or a metallic one might.
My thing with eitquette is that no one really knows what the rules are and they are often archaic (Sure the old rules might be archaic, but we must learn them to forge new ones as we study ancient governments to strengthen our own) and how can everyone be comfortable with rules outside of their usual daily procedures? And again I reiterate, there need to be rules for all to follow for the comfort of the general populous because individual comfort is so varied. I mean take lawn care just as an example. Why can't everyone just be comfortable with how each person cares or doesnt for there own lawn? I mean why should neighborhoods enforce lawn heights and why does everyone scowl at the guy who does no landscaping? Because one mans dandelions...