I've got an offer to co-author a blog with Julia -- are you taking off or what?
Because I am one hot commodity right now... :)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thank you Tina -- I'd kill a dragon for YOU!
Tina you have no idea how much happiness you have brought me bringing me the sad, melodramatic songs of my youth.
If you would only read those vampire books, then you would understand what I say that I wish we were werewolves and you see inside my head.
I just replayed Troy. I don't know that if it will ever resonate for you the way that it did for me and my friends in high school. And still today, only because of those memories, I suppose. But, even some of my more grown up memories of forbidden moments, well...
You should have left the light on.
And now that I can look at the song from an older perspective... I just looked up her bio on Wiki, so she was 21 when that song was written.
In high school, Miss Pleasants used to make us write fifteen minute essays for English. She gave us a topic and we had to run on as much as we could in those fifteen minutes. I remember once I dissected How Beautiful by the Cure. I suppose because those words were on my mind for whatever reason. But, really, if there was ever a melodramatic theme to my high school existence, it was definitely Troy.
You see, Troy is the at first whistful then raging keen of a woman who has had a taste of a forbidden love. Even though she knew that she shouldn't have it. Even though she tried to prevent it. (I interpret it this way, anyway.) Well, maybe not tried to prevent it, but at least didn't think she would be in a position for it happen.
And she's very angry. But I think she doesn't know if she is angry at him or herself. I mean, sure -- he should have left the light on, but she could have turned it on, right?
I'm so obsessed, I'm playing it again while I write this.... It gets a hold on me when I hear it again. It snakes in my head and I just want to hear it over and over again.
I think it's like this. They were alone, she put the moves on him. He wasn't supposed to know that she had these feelings. He claimed to share the feelings, but really didn't. He just used her. Or did he? That's the problem.
She doesn't know.
But the Phoenix references are obviously that he badly burned her but she's like fuck you -- I'm going to get SO over you!
She doesn't.
Or she wouldn't have written the song.
After all, you don't just forget someone that you would have killed a dragon for, do you?
Anyways, I realize now that Troy was one of my litmus tests. All of my closest friends loved this song. It was like they had to rage along with the crappy tape deck version of the song in order to be allowed in.
Don't worry. I don't have the same test now. You can not like the song and we'll still be okay.
But, it definitely helps.
If you would only read those vampire books, then you would understand what I say that I wish we were werewolves and you see inside my head.
I just replayed Troy. I don't know that if it will ever resonate for you the way that it did for me and my friends in high school. And still today, only because of those memories, I suppose. But, even some of my more grown up memories of forbidden moments, well...
You should have left the light on.
And now that I can look at the song from an older perspective... I just looked up her bio on Wiki, so she was 21 when that song was written.
In high school, Miss Pleasants used to make us write fifteen minute essays for English. She gave us a topic and we had to run on as much as we could in those fifteen minutes. I remember once I dissected How Beautiful by the Cure. I suppose because those words were on my mind for whatever reason. But, really, if there was ever a melodramatic theme to my high school existence, it was definitely Troy.
You see, Troy is the at first whistful then raging keen of a woman who has had a taste of a forbidden love. Even though she knew that she shouldn't have it. Even though she tried to prevent it. (I interpret it this way, anyway.) Well, maybe not tried to prevent it, but at least didn't think she would be in a position for it happen.
And she's very angry. But I think she doesn't know if she is angry at him or herself. I mean, sure -- he should have left the light on, but she could have turned it on, right?
I'm so obsessed, I'm playing it again while I write this.... It gets a hold on me when I hear it again. It snakes in my head and I just want to hear it over and over again.
I think it's like this. They were alone, she put the moves on him. He wasn't supposed to know that she had these feelings. He claimed to share the feelings, but really didn't. He just used her. Or did he? That's the problem.
She doesn't know.
But the Phoenix references are obviously that he badly burned her but she's like fuck you -- I'm going to get SO over you!
She doesn't.
Or she wouldn't have written the song.
After all, you don't just forget someone that you would have killed a dragon for, do you?
Anyways, I realize now that Troy was one of my litmus tests. All of my closest friends loved this song. It was like they had to rage along with the crappy tape deck version of the song in order to be allowed in.
Don't worry. I don't have the same test now. You can not like the song and we'll still be okay.
But, it definitely helps.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Happiness
Heather says:
I hope you understand that I felt more comfortable responding over here, on the more heathen side of things. I feel weird posting on your other blog. Like I'm going to make it burst into flames with my heathen-ness or something.
No, that's not true. It's really that while I do not share you and your friends' religious views, I try not to be overly offensive or out of line. Your beliefs are your beliefs, so....
But -- as Carrie would say -- I guess I can't help but wonder how you reconcile these beliefs with your heathen relationships. You purposefully pull people, like me and Ryan, into your lives and give us priority. Knowing that this priority will give you much conflict in your belief system. Do you enjoy the struggle? The angst that is the quarter life crisis??
And when you make the statement that the price you pay for a happy home is me -- I can't understand this. You are interchanging the words husband and home. Where goes your husband that is your home. But to the average reader, home means something different. It is a place where you can relax and be yourself and let your hair down.
And screw that noise about messy kitchens -- when a woman's house is messy it's a sign that she's having a LIFE.
You're missing something. You could take the lessons, you could do many things. What are you afraid of? It's not a messy kitchen.
Tina, you are not even 30 yet. You're not dead. There is room in your life for you AND Ryan to be happy, but you both have to be willing to make compromises. And you have to be honest with yourself about what you're afraid of and what you really want. Why ARE you married to and friends with these heathen people? Why are you so willing to sacrifice your own contentment and satisfaction and just lay down?
This is what pumps me up -- I'm sure you have heard it...
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.
Anyways, I love you girl. You're going to figure this out, even Kenfricktuckiana. You'll find your way. Again, you're not even 30 yet -- you have a few years to figure it out. And if you get hit by a bus tomorrow, well you weren't meant to figure it out anyways. :)
I hope you understand that I felt more comfortable responding over here, on the more heathen side of things. I feel weird posting on your other blog. Like I'm going to make it burst into flames with my heathen-ness or something.
No, that's not true. It's really that while I do not share you and your friends' religious views, I try not to be overly offensive or out of line. Your beliefs are your beliefs, so....
But -- as Carrie would say -- I guess I can't help but wonder how you reconcile these beliefs with your heathen relationships. You purposefully pull people, like me and Ryan, into your lives and give us priority. Knowing that this priority will give you much conflict in your belief system. Do you enjoy the struggle? The angst that is the quarter life crisis??
And when you make the statement that the price you pay for a happy home is me -- I can't understand this. You are interchanging the words husband and home. Where goes your husband that is your home. But to the average reader, home means something different. It is a place where you can relax and be yourself and let your hair down.
And screw that noise about messy kitchens -- when a woman's house is messy it's a sign that she's having a LIFE.
You're missing something. You could take the lessons, you could do many things. What are you afraid of? It's not a messy kitchen.
Tina, you are not even 30 yet. You're not dead. There is room in your life for you AND Ryan to be happy, but you both have to be willing to make compromises. And you have to be honest with yourself about what you're afraid of and what you really want. Why ARE you married to and friends with these heathen people? Why are you so willing to sacrifice your own contentment and satisfaction and just lay down?
This is what pumps me up -- I'm sure you have heard it...
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.
Anyways, I love you girl. You're going to figure this out, even Kenfricktuckiana. You'll find your way. Again, you're not even 30 yet -- you have a few years to figure it out. And if you get hit by a bus tomorrow, well you weren't meant to figure it out anyways. :)
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