Thank you Tina -- I'd kill a dragon for YOU!

Tina you have no idea how much happiness you have brought me bringing me the sad, melodramatic songs of my youth.

If you would only read those vampire books, then you would understand what I say that I wish we were werewolves and you see inside my head.

I just replayed Troy. I don't know that if it will ever resonate for you the way that it did for me and my friends in high school. And still today, only because of those memories, I suppose. But, even some of my more grown up memories of forbidden moments, well...

You should have left the light on.

And now that I can look at the song from an older perspective... I just looked up her bio on Wiki, so she was 21 when that song was written.

In high school, Miss Pleasants used to make us write fifteen minute essays for English. She gave us a topic and we had to run on as much as we could in those fifteen minutes. I remember once I dissected How Beautiful by the Cure. I suppose because those words were on my mind for whatever reason. But, really, if there was ever a melodramatic theme to my high school existence, it was definitely Troy.

You see, Troy is the at first whistful then raging keen of a woman who has had a taste of a forbidden love. Even though she knew that she shouldn't have it. Even though she tried to prevent it. (I interpret it this way, anyway.) Well, maybe not tried to prevent it, but at least didn't think she would be in a position for it happen.

And she's very angry. But I think she doesn't know if she is angry at him or herself. I mean, sure -- he should have left the light on, but she could have turned it on, right?

I'm so obsessed, I'm playing it again while I write this.... It gets a hold on me when I hear it again. It snakes in my head and I just want to hear it over and over again.

I think it's like this. They were alone, she put the moves on him. He wasn't supposed to know that she had these feelings. He claimed to share the feelings, but really didn't. He just used her. Or did he? That's the problem.

She doesn't know.

But the Phoenix references are obviously that he badly burned her but she's like fuck you -- I'm going to get SO over you!

She doesn't.

Or she wouldn't have written the song.

After all, you don't just forget someone that you would have killed a dragon for, do you?

Anyways, I realize now that Troy was one of my litmus tests. All of my closest friends loved this song. It was like they had to rage along with the crappy tape deck version of the song in order to be allowed in.

Don't worry. I don't have the same test now. You can not like the song and we'll still be okay.

But, it definitely helps.