Because everything old eventually becomes new again

Tina set up an account so I could email my fairy godchild letters to her future self.

I claimed I forgot.

But I'm telling you here now is my confession.

WTF?  I mean, to which age future Harper am I writing?  Am I allowed to use curse words?  (To which, I know you will say - if you think it is appropriate for you to use that type of language with your fairy godchild then by all means...")  Are we having fake fairy tale versions of our lives?  Is it a big adventure?

I'm not sure what the content of these emails is supposed to be.  Is it my perspective on our life journey together?  I mean, listen, I am barely hacking it "adulting" and I'm in my 40's.  SO, I think I'm not going to be in much of a position to dispense pearls of wisdom, if you know what I mean.  But, that also depends on whether your idea of successful adulting is being good at the clerical and administrative details of life.  I mean, not that those things aren't important, but being good at those things doesn't necessarily equate to being able to have lasting, meaningful relationships with other human beings who live outside of your phone.  I'm just saying.

So, Dear Harper, I do not write Dear Harper emails because I'm not sure what the scenario is that you will be reading them.  We need ground rules. Taboo topics.  Will there be a day that she will get to read them and respond or is this some maudlin to be read after I've kicked it?  Because, tbh, I super suck at checking my email.   So, if there's going to be a point at which she would be reading and responding, then I'll need to know to go check.  But, if it is a post mortem thing, then doesn't matter.
Let's say that we pick an age that she is going to be when the emails will be unearthed and at that point - we begin.

I suppose I could craft the emails in here and then have you approve them?  Somewhat public but not because who is going to read our blog but us? 

Anyways.  Love that we're talking about taking a road trip with Harper.  I'm really keen to do a King's Dominion thing, but she may be a bit too young for many of the rides.  Plus, it is really heavy on the Peanuts theme still and I'm wondering if they know that the Peanuts are not really big part of pop culture anymore? 

Okay, rambling out...

HPL

The Yearning

Heather Darling,

Who doesnt want a family? I mean sure, no one wants a family quite like the one they had, but we are optimistic that our children will love us more than we our parents and we wont be quite as uncool and overbearing.

The older I get the more I realize how much having children will change my life. How my friends will only be their friends parents. How much of my time will revolve around just keeping they alive. When I spoke to my friend Rebekah and she was overjoyed to be out alone with out her 16 month old. (First child) just to be able to go shopping sans ensemble is a joy, it made be so thankful for my life without children.

But i know what you mean. I feel the call. It not terribly strong yet, but imagine as you say, it gets louder over years.

And as far as were concerned, were outside the norm thus far, I wouldnt give us up as goners yet.

I love you too.

Dear Tina,

I don't understand why everyone on the shows I watch has to be pregnant?

Dude, seriously?

I tried to explain to Scott that at my age the closest thing I feel to peer pressure is the wanting to have kids. I KNOW that I am not ready to be responsible for another human being in my heart of hearts, but I really feel the pressure of my hormones and just the peer pressure. I DO NOT understand how people fight this pressure! This is where we really have the difference in our ages. I envy you your youth and your time to make this decision.

And I'm old enough to know that this will change our friendship. I don't want that. I want things to always feel the same between us, but this pressure... You don't know. When I am free to think about it, it's all that I think about. In the weirdest, oddest times..... I kind of think that our spring fling is going to be when I coincide... Well.

I'm just ready... And the thing is that is that it's totally the wrong time in my life and maybe it will be the biggest heartbreak in my life... But, Tina -- it's like falling in love. This feeling of knowing that I want a family and knowing that I am capable of being part of creating life. It's just incredible.

But, I think I'm just hormonal and drunk.

Who knows?

love you!

Heather

Never tell anyone that you're writing a book, going on a diet, exercising, taking a course, or quitting smoking. They'll encourage you to death.
- Lynn Johnston

What, twice in one week?

So, im not so sure whats wrong with being bitchy. I mean. it is who we are. We do not try to hide who we are. Sure, maybe we would like to be nicer people. In quiet moments, maybe we strive to be kinder, but when the fit hits the shan, we are who we is and this pages is about me and you and those who enjoy the show so... feed em grits.
I am so on a bend right now because I am so over people who lecture me about being nice and then are critical or fail at routine politeness. Im like hello, things like saying thank you and not mentioning ever single time you screw something up, goes towards that whole being a nice person thing, not just not saying the first derisive thing that comes to mind. Just because my mind is conditioned to be trite.
Anyway, enough about work.
We switched bedrooms with denise. She was sleeping on the sofa. I dont remember if i told you that or not.
Something about sleeping in the bed where she used to sleep with kenny. Made her depressed. Cant imagine. jj/k
so now we have time master suite complete with king size bed. I am so going to be spoilt.

love you.

I remembered I was supposed to blog about my hangover!

So, how drunk could I have been...? I mean, I'm not even hungover -- what a waste, ha ha.

I don't know. It was a strange night. I mean, strange. Weird mix of people who didn't know each other.

I think part of the reason that I don't blog anymore is because all of the bitchy things that we say to each other is in private when we're just talking. But if we're saying bitchy things on the internet -- well, then we're just bitches.

And if we're not saying bitchy things -- then WHAT are we blogging about?! Julia says the blogs need themes. This is when she was on her "let's get a blog together" roll -- but, maybe she's right? Maybe we need a theme for our blog.

Oh and anyway -- I haven't read The Tipping Point so I couldn't have recommended The Outliers either. I talked about this: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/cool/ <-- which I can't get the hyperlink for, but it was that merchants of cool thing that you said you already saw.

I do have to say though that your interest in sociology has renewed my own interest and I'm actually excited to start my Cultural Anthropology class in the Spring. Even if it is a 100 level class. ;-)

Rebecca and her husband Keith joined in with Tom and John and gave Scott a renewed WOW interest. I should have lots more time to blog now...

love ya!

Its that time of year again...

okay so im gonna post. Today is the last day of 2008. I can't remember for sure but I feel like on the last day of 2007 we were ringin in the new year at your house and I am sad because I am fairly certain we would be there today if we were not 1000 miles away.

New Years Resolution of the Krafts: Become more socially aware. We are going to pick one book by an author from either the Colbert Report or The Daily Show each month, and read it. I remember you said Scott didnt like the Tipping Point but did like Outliers. I meant to get deeper into that discussion but never did. I dont know that I necessarily agree with the Tipping Point but there were several things that I got to thinking about while reading it. Thats more why I like it than anything else. Blues Clues over Sesame Street. Broken Window Theory and its applications in other circles. Internal responsibility over social (stimuli)reponsibilty. These are things I have been very interested in recently. The other book I got at B&N was, as I told you, why our generation is really the first who "can be anything they want" an chooses to be nothing at all. And it cant be as simple as because we dont have to work for anything. I mean that has part and parcle im sure but its got to be deeper. Anyways.

We have mice. Well, perhaps had. I caught two of them this morning. I was so stoked. I took them down the road and let them out of the coffee can where I had put them to take them out of the house (ryan and neither one could bring ourselves to by killing traps) and one of them charged me. It was the funniest thing. This little mouse, no bigger than a tree frog, and he was gonna show me. So cute. They dont bother me if you can tell. Only spiders. Well i dont care for roaches either.
Anyways.

Chapter two of Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, Chuck creates a Sims of himself to discover the deeper meaning of life. Deeper into the project and line one of the chapter:
I am not a benevolent God. I am watching myself writhe in a puddle of my own urine, and i offer no response. I have not eaten or slept for days. I am the master, I am the puppet. i am not the type of person who still plays video games.

I love this book.

Frustration

We just got the brochure for Ryans company's healthcare plan. The deductible is $1500 per person. They dont even pay prescriptions until you meet the deductible. Then its $3000 for the family. So were like since theres two of us does that mean we have to meet $3000 before they will pay for Rx's?!?!

My migraine Rx's alone are $400.00 each.

So we pay $100.00+ a month for insurance then $3000.00 out of pocket before they will cover anything and then they only cover 80%?!

I think im gonna go drown myself in the tub.

Dieting Dilemmas

Well not really dilemmas but it prefilled so...

Years ago when i was working at USAA I did the six week body make over with my desk mate. It works really well, but you have to eat every three hours and it involves quite a bit of cooking as you have to eat a protein (chicken, fish, shrimp or egg whites) and green vegetable (not legume) of a certain quantity at each of those intervals. You can have oatmeal or rice with breakfast but no salt, sugar, fat or any other carb.
You can have all the mustard, vinegar or spices you like, but olive oil, ketchup etc.

So, working at CVS, I cant just stop and eat whenever, and I dont spend that much time prepairing that much food. So I have been doing this:

Breakfast:
1/2 c steelcut oats (homecooked, not instant) with golden raisins, 1 tsp honey, 1 tsp peanut butter
3 egg whites w/ basil, garlic salt, etc.
1 cup coffee w/ splenda and creamer.

lunch:
Salad - as much as I care to eat
Romaine
carrotts, zucchini, radishes, peppers, onions
1 can tuna (water packed)
2 tblsp olive oil, 3 tblsp salad vinegar
one diet coke


snack:
snack pack carrots
sugar snap peas
bottled water


dinner:

boiled chicken
steamed veggies
tossed w/ olive oil (1-2 tblsp) and spices

or

more salad
and 1 cup of egg drop soup
(chicken broth and 1 egg white)

bottled water
glass wine (optional) or two!

So this is the third day of my second week.
Its kinda stringent, and im doing pretty well. The diet is optional on Sat and Sunday.
I will say that what I did eat this weekend made my stomach feel bad. And I only ate half my hamburger and was full.
Today they ordered papa johns for lunch in the pharmacy and that was really hard. I was starving too but I withstood.

I dont know what that would be on Fat Church points because I am not fluent in conversion. Maybe if you get a minute you can total it for me.
But really since you were getting back on the wagon I thought I might share my current plan of attack.

Hot New T-Shirts...

TINA: Found this...funnily enough on the theology blog I read. And people say christians dont have a sense of humor.

http://site.despair.com/despairwear/

What the...

My computer is ringing...
Not my phone, my computer. It started this morning and I thought it was my alarm clock so I just kinda shook it off and got in the shower.
But now, as I sit here reading my blogs and playing with my facebook, the ringing is most definitely coming from my computer speakers.
There are no programs running other than my web browser. So to put a bandaid on a bleeding artery, i plugged in my headphones.
AND THE DAMN THINGS ARE STILL RINGING!
Like once a minute.
What the ...?

Confession...

Tina: I called Michael.

There it is...its out.

Notice I didnt say I talked to Michael because I didnt. He didnt call me back. Which is kind of a good thing. Do you want to hear the whole story?

Who am I kidding of course you do. Are you done yelling yet?

So I saw this thing on TV a couple weeks ago that distinctly reminded me of him. And it wasn't just thinking it was like something flipped a switch and i couldnt stop. I would have dreams. I could feel him and smell him. And it was driving me nuts because I didnt want to. I didnt want to have these thoughts and feelings about anybody else. I was sick because I didnt want to have memories about anybody but Ryan. And i thought it might go away but after almost three weeks it still wouldnt. So I decided what I needed was closure.

I didnt tell anyone. No one was going to tell me that talking to him was a good idea. I just wanted to remember why i hated him as much as I cared. That he wasnt this sexual demigod only, which was all I could currently think about, he was this narcissitic man who used my naivete to feel better about his failing marriage. I had to grasp that he was human and flawed again. And I wanted to tell him that even though I wanted him at the time, I hated him for imbedding in my psyche. So I called him. And I left a message on his work voicemail.

And he didnt call. But it turns out, I didnt need him to. I only needed him not to be taboo. Because it all went away.

And now you know.

Well you and anyone else who reads our blog.


I request the month and however many days that it took you to finally post to respond to this.

Sheesh.

I mean, what am I going to say that you don't already know I'm going to say?! Oy.

Oy.

All I've got is oy.

I mean, I guess the question is -- is it really about Michael? (Ick, I hope not -- sorry -- but then I hope so too.) >> Where ARE you?

Tina, paging Tina...

I've got an offer to co-author a blog with Julia -- are you taking off or what?

Because I am one hot commodity right now... :)

Thank you Tina -- I'd kill a dragon for YOU!

Tina you have no idea how much happiness you have brought me bringing me the sad, melodramatic songs of my youth.

If you would only read those vampire books, then you would understand what I say that I wish we were werewolves and you see inside my head.

I just replayed Troy. I don't know that if it will ever resonate for you the way that it did for me and my friends in high school. And still today, only because of those memories, I suppose. But, even some of my more grown up memories of forbidden moments, well...

You should have left the light on.

And now that I can look at the song from an older perspective... I just looked up her bio on Wiki, so she was 21 when that song was written.

In high school, Miss Pleasants used to make us write fifteen minute essays for English. She gave us a topic and we had to run on as much as we could in those fifteen minutes. I remember once I dissected How Beautiful by the Cure. I suppose because those words were on my mind for whatever reason. But, really, if there was ever a melodramatic theme to my high school existence, it was definitely Troy.

You see, Troy is the at first whistful then raging keen of a woman who has had a taste of a forbidden love. Even though she knew that she shouldn't have it. Even though she tried to prevent it. (I interpret it this way, anyway.) Well, maybe not tried to prevent it, but at least didn't think she would be in a position for it happen.

And she's very angry. But I think she doesn't know if she is angry at him or herself. I mean, sure -- he should have left the light on, but she could have turned it on, right?

I'm so obsessed, I'm playing it again while I write this.... It gets a hold on me when I hear it again. It snakes in my head and I just want to hear it over and over again.

I think it's like this. They were alone, she put the moves on him. He wasn't supposed to know that she had these feelings. He claimed to share the feelings, but really didn't. He just used her. Or did he? That's the problem.

She doesn't know.

But the Phoenix references are obviously that he badly burned her but she's like fuck you -- I'm going to get SO over you!

She doesn't.

Or she wouldn't have written the song.

After all, you don't just forget someone that you would have killed a dragon for, do you?

Anyways, I realize now that Troy was one of my litmus tests. All of my closest friends loved this song. It was like they had to rage along with the crappy tape deck version of the song in order to be allowed in.

Don't worry. I don't have the same test now. You can not like the song and we'll still be okay.

But, it definitely helps.

Happiness

Heather says:

I hope you understand that I felt more comfortable responding over here, on the more heathen side of things. I feel weird posting on your other blog. Like I'm going to make it burst into flames with my heathen-ness or something.

No, that's not true. It's really that while I do not share you and your friends' religious views, I try not to be overly offensive or out of line. Your beliefs are your beliefs, so....

But -- as Carrie would say -- I guess I can't help but wonder how you reconcile these beliefs with your heathen relationships. You purposefully pull people, like me and Ryan, into your lives and give us priority. Knowing that this priority will give you much conflict in your belief system. Do you enjoy the struggle? The angst that is the quarter life crisis??

And when you make the statement that the price you pay for a happy home is me -- I can't understand this. You are interchanging the words husband and home. Where goes your husband that is your home. But to the average reader, home means something different. It is a place where you can relax and be yourself and let your hair down.

And screw that noise about messy kitchens -- when a woman's house is messy it's a sign that she's having a LIFE.

You're missing something. You could take the lessons, you could do many things. What are you afraid of? It's not a messy kitchen.

Tina, you are not even 30 yet. You're not dead. There is room in your life for you AND Ryan to be happy, but you both have to be willing to make compromises. And you have to be honest with yourself about what you're afraid of and what you really want. Why ARE you married to and friends with these heathen people? Why are you so willing to sacrifice your own contentment and satisfaction and just lay down?

This is what pumps me up -- I'm sure you have heard it...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.

Anyways, I love you girl. You're going to figure this out, even Kenfricktuckiana. You'll find your way. Again, you're not even 30 yet -- you have a few years to figure it out. And if you get hit by a bus tomorrow, well you weren't meant to figure it out anyways. :)

Reliving the songs of my youth...

Heather says:

Tina has been trying to hook us up with a play list for our site. It's supposed to be made up from a cd that I made her -- that she LOST -- of songs I think "she should know." Well, I'm really not a music afficianado. I just have the songs from my youth, mostly... Some of those, I don't think I would have have said she should KNOW, but as I try to recreate mixed tapes of my youth, here are some songs and what not that were staples. Julia is a regular reader and I guarantee she will help with a comment or two of either songs that I forced her to listen to OR songs that she mixed taped me that I remembered liking. After all, she is how I even knew who the Beautiful South were and really Sail this Ship Alone and Love Song to Nobody don't even compare to each other, much less to 36B.

And while I could never regularly listen to the songs of my younger years that I found "important" because they are so fucking depressing, these are still some of my favorite songs of all time. From then until I can last remember paying attention to music before just listening to NPR, in no particular order to be edited from time to time...

Troy Sinead O'Connor... I'll remember it Dublin in a rainstorm
... But also Just like you said it would B, I want your (hands on me), I am Stretched on your grave (note: I will never forget the beat of that song once I hear the title... ), and again... Most of the album I Do Not Want what I haven't got is primo stuff -- just cuts a hole in your gut thinkign about the teen angst that it riles up
How Beautiful You Are the Cure ... actually lots of Cure songs, but mostly more obscure ones like Love Cats, Why Can't I Be You?, Closer (the riff will ALWAYS make me think of that Sam Montage video), 10:15 on a Saturday night (drip, drip, drip...)

White Rabbit Jefferson Airplane

Vincent Don McClean... you know him because of american pie, but Vincent is the reason that Katrina and I are friends

book of Love don't know who but true cheese and just fabulous
Sea of Love.. the Robert Plant version, not the Honey Drippers
so many Smiths songs... some of my favorites are Stop Me if You think you've heard this one before, last night I dreamt that somebody loved me, unhappy birthday, paint a vulgar picture (which is very long, but you forgive it because they use words like sycophantic and who talks that??); "panic" has other lines often quotes, as well as sheila take a bow... actually, now that I look at the playlist from louder than bombs I love every single one in its own way

lots of enya songs... I used to be a HUGE fan... but only of the Watermark album I could just never get into the rest Evening Falls was frequently included on mix tapes as a segue as well as On Your Shore. ESPECIALLY, if i had a crush on you. ::: swooning::: THAT song is like the James Garner/whatsherface part of The Notebook what it does to me. Has always made me believe in forever

Indigo Girls... especially their version of Romeo & Juliet and then the song they're most known for Galileo but the song they are most known for on my road trips is Moment of Forgiveness

Another Katrina song and I am too tired/drunk to remember the title/artist but the gist of the title is that "it feels so good, feeling good again" -- that song has gotten me through a lot of hard times

In fact, on the mixed cd she copied for me the other song following it is "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins and that helps too

Also, don't know the artist but Build Me Up, Buttercup or whatever that is called -- no matter how bad a mood I am in, I can usually get out of it with that song

Also, Journey, Don't Stop Believing
ABBA Dancing Queen, Money, Money, Money, Fernando, Thank You for the Music, Does Your Mother Know?
Bee Gees Staying Alive, How Deep is your love?

If I can't have you off of the Saturday Night Fever album

Pink - Just Like a Pill, Get this Party Started, Family Portrait

Billy Joel... Oy, where to start? Downeaster Alexis, Innocent Man, We didn't start the fire, And so it goes...

No Doubt... Bathwater, Ex-Girlfriend, Spiderwebs, Just a Girl

the song from our wedding Forever... "not talking about a year, no not three or four...."

Van Morrison... Moon Dance, of course, but OUR song is Someone Like You

Anyways. Tina OUR song is always going to be Since You've Been Gone... Ironic, but there you go.

Until I'm sober and interested enough to add more...

Tina says: This is what I am doing until I am BORED enough to do more! LOL

So where is this great post about Karen?

Heather says:

Here's part of it. Monday night they came over and we were having some wine. And they got into over something. Something about cooking.

Steve drunkenly said that maybe she should take of dinner for the rest of the week if she felt that way. (Whatever that way was, fuzzy memory -- surprise!) And she got very offended and she said I don't like it when you talk to me like that and that's very upsetting. And he said well, I'm just saying that maybe you should take care of it. And she got very huffy and said (and I wrote this part down so I would be sure to remember it) -- don't threaten me with having to cook! I'll show you, I just won't eat!

And the thing is... I think she would do it.

I'm sure it was funnier at the time but just to hear the words "don't threaten me" associated with cooking dinner. I almost peed my pants. I mean, I don't feel threatened when I have to make dinner -- I know the phone number to Papa John's! :)

Dieting Dilemnas

Tina says:

So as you know, ten year reunion is in November. This has got me seriously thinking about dieting. I feel heavier than usual and I have been carrying consistently an extra 5-7 lbs. since I gained back the weight I lost when I was on the daily migraine stuff and couldnt eat anything.

This is my problem. As soon I think about seriously dieting/exercising, whatever, I hear Ryan in my head asking me what the hell I care what those people think. Which, yes, this is a good point, and generally, I'm not vain but something about those people and high school makes me want to look good.

I didnt have any high school trauma, I dont have anything to prove mind you, I just want to look good.

So here is my problem. Not only does my husband, whom I love and adore and have no doubts about the verity and surety of his returning my feelings, not think I should care what those people think, he doesnt care what I look like. He married me for my mind and for who I am and who we are to each other and yada yada and sure he doesnt want me to get fat, but make up, no make up, skirt, heels, sweats makes no difference. And that bothers me. REALLY BOTHERS ME.

My question is should it? I mean gift horse right? In a way its safe knowing that he looks at pretty girls and thinks, "yeah but shes probably a moron" and thus doesnt really look look because he's not really interested.

But when weve sat around for three says in our pajamas and I finally get dressed and do my hair and my face and smell good and walk through the room looking for the TADA! and its not there, I cant help but feel like my horse has at hitch in its giddy-up.

Heather says:

You enjoy being a girl, as the song goes. I realize that you have this thing where Ryan is the center of the universe, walks on water, yadda yadda yadda... BUT, you are your own person. You were your own person before you met him. And at the end of the day, YOU like dressing up and not carrying around an extra 5-7 pounds. So, don't do it for him -- do it for you. You be the voice in your head.

And I'm not intending this as any slam against Ryan, so don't misunderstand. It's just that you have to have something for you. Great, he admires you for your brain -- but part of that brain is pre-occupied with shoes and how your hair would look cute if it were a certain way. We are girlie girls. And maybe he doesn't care about that stuff, but there was definitely a certain once upon a time when there a certain girl in a certain pair of boots that really had him going. So, whatever -- he doesn't care now, but it's in there.

You want to look good. And you know you can. Maybe you don't have anything to prove to anyone -- maybe it's just to yourself.

And why don't you ask him to make comments when you finally get out of your pajamas after (ew) 3 days?
Enter Tina who counters: Not the same P.J.s Ive showered in between!
You know he's not going to make the comments voluntarily, but if you have the "honey, it's really important to me when you..." And then reinforce that, you will get what you want. He loves you, he wants to make you happy. And you're definitely low-maintenance (I'm comparing to myself) -- I mean, it's not an ever moving target it's just "Must remember to tell wife she looks purty today."

BTW, I don't think that chocolate cake is a good step on your plan... :)

Tina says: Oh but I havent started yet!

Tina -- I really hate this lay-out. Can you find something more us? I'll work on it <--- what do you think about this? We can change font colors but the red... ask you can see if you scroll down is terrible so I had to change it at least where it could be seen.

I'm still marinating about your geese...

Facebook

So, the other day Julia asked me why Scott joined Facebook. As usual, his response was just to piss Heather off.

Here's the thing that bothered me though about the mini-conversation that evolved from this. He says that it's about people who haven't seen or talked to or cared about one another in however many years and yet now we're suddenly interested in each other's lives.

Well, I think that's just mean-spirited but also incorrect. I think that for people who are a little older, Facebook is the opportunity to re-connect with people that you lost contact with. Not because you stopped caring about the person all together, but your life and their life went on different paths.

They went to college and I threw my life down the toilet by tying myself to ding dong. It was what it was. Maybe if I had gone to college, I would have stayed in touch and had a grown-up job like they do and we would have had things in common. But, now we don't have things in common but yet...

I don't know. I get excited when I hear from people from back in the day. No, they haven't been burning through their black books trying to find me either, but neither have I. I still want to know what happened to them and how they are doing and what their lives are like now. It's cool. Are we going to become friends again? Probably not, but more than we were before we had Facebook. Is FB a silly, glittery thing with flair and electronic drinks and stalking techniques -- heck yeah. But let's not undermine the reconnections by saying that it's about people previously not caring and now suddenly they do. That's just not right.

So I have thought about what you have said and they conclusions I have come to are these:

People on facebook for me atleast fall into one of the following categories:

Friends or people I still talk to

People who I used to hang out with and because of this past connection we have agreed to be
mutual current voyeurs. These are people whom if I ran into them at Target I might stop and talk to for 10 minutes or so... perhaps even go get coffee. If they wanted to be more than friends, I might try to get more involved.

People who I wish I had been closer with. Its a way of not letting go.

People who I dont really like or have any vested interest in, but seeing things going on in their lives and occasionally commenting or having sparring conversations keeps you connected. The world is small. If you ever, move to where they are, need a new job, you might need to know someone... This is generally termed networking. Laura never loses touch of anyone. I admire that about her. She has this vast network of "friends" who actually know very little about her but because she keeps in touch and lets them tell her about themselves she is well connected. Its very smart. Its self serving perhaps, but smart none the less.