Dieting Dilemnas

Tina says:

So as you know, ten year reunion is in November. This has got me seriously thinking about dieting. I feel heavier than usual and I have been carrying consistently an extra 5-7 lbs. since I gained back the weight I lost when I was on the daily migraine stuff and couldnt eat anything.

This is my problem. As soon I think about seriously dieting/exercising, whatever, I hear Ryan in my head asking me what the hell I care what those people think. Which, yes, this is a good point, and generally, I'm not vain but something about those people and high school makes me want to look good.

I didnt have any high school trauma, I dont have anything to prove mind you, I just want to look good.

So here is my problem. Not only does my husband, whom I love and adore and have no doubts about the verity and surety of his returning my feelings, not think I should care what those people think, he doesnt care what I look like. He married me for my mind and for who I am and who we are to each other and yada yada and sure he doesnt want me to get fat, but make up, no make up, skirt, heels, sweats makes no difference. And that bothers me. REALLY BOTHERS ME.

My question is should it? I mean gift horse right? In a way its safe knowing that he looks at pretty girls and thinks, "yeah but shes probably a moron" and thus doesnt really look look because he's not really interested.

But when weve sat around for three says in our pajamas and I finally get dressed and do my hair and my face and smell good and walk through the room looking for the TADA! and its not there, I cant help but feel like my horse has at hitch in its giddy-up.

Heather says:

You enjoy being a girl, as the song goes. I realize that you have this thing where Ryan is the center of the universe, walks on water, yadda yadda yadda... BUT, you are your own person. You were your own person before you met him. And at the end of the day, YOU like dressing up and not carrying around an extra 5-7 pounds. So, don't do it for him -- do it for you. You be the voice in your head.

And I'm not intending this as any slam against Ryan, so don't misunderstand. It's just that you have to have something for you. Great, he admires you for your brain -- but part of that brain is pre-occupied with shoes and how your hair would look cute if it were a certain way. We are girlie girls. And maybe he doesn't care about that stuff, but there was definitely a certain once upon a time when there a certain girl in a certain pair of boots that really had him going. So, whatever -- he doesn't care now, but it's in there.

You want to look good. And you know you can. Maybe you don't have anything to prove to anyone -- maybe it's just to yourself.

And why don't you ask him to make comments when you finally get out of your pajamas after (ew) 3 days?
Enter Tina who counters: Not the same P.J.s Ive showered in between!
You know he's not going to make the comments voluntarily, but if you have the "honey, it's really important to me when you..." And then reinforce that, you will get what you want. He loves you, he wants to make you happy. And you're definitely low-maintenance (I'm comparing to myself) -- I mean, it's not an ever moving target it's just "Must remember to tell wife she looks purty today."

BTW, I don't think that chocolate cake is a good step on your plan... :)

Tina says: Oh but I havent started yet!