Confession...

Tina: I called Michael.

There it is...its out.

Notice I didnt say I talked to Michael because I didnt. He didnt call me back. Which is kind of a good thing. Do you want to hear the whole story?

Who am I kidding of course you do. Are you done yelling yet?

So I saw this thing on TV a couple weeks ago that distinctly reminded me of him. And it wasn't just thinking it was like something flipped a switch and i couldnt stop. I would have dreams. I could feel him and smell him. And it was driving me nuts because I didnt want to. I didnt want to have these thoughts and feelings about anybody else. I was sick because I didnt want to have memories about anybody but Ryan. And i thought it might go away but after almost three weeks it still wouldnt. So I decided what I needed was closure.

I didnt tell anyone. No one was going to tell me that talking to him was a good idea. I just wanted to remember why i hated him as much as I cared. That he wasnt this sexual demigod only, which was all I could currently think about, he was this narcissitic man who used my naivete to feel better about his failing marriage. I had to grasp that he was human and flawed again. And I wanted to tell him that even though I wanted him at the time, I hated him for imbedding in my psyche. So I called him. And I left a message on his work voicemail.

And he didnt call. But it turns out, I didnt need him to. I only needed him not to be taboo. Because it all went away.

And now you know.

Well you and anyone else who reads our blog.


I request the month and however many days that it took you to finally post to respond to this.

Sheesh.

I mean, what am I going to say that you don't already know I'm going to say?! Oy.

Oy.

All I've got is oy.

I mean, I guess the question is -- is it really about Michael? (Ick, I hope not -- sorry -- but then I hope so too.) >> Where ARE you?